Anime Style Survivor Season Two: Shreenan Island
by Mizu Miyamoto
Summary: It's Anime Style Survivor Season Two: Shreenan Island! Includes Edward Elric, Ritsuko Sohma, Asuka Langely Sohryu, Yugi Motoh, Sailor Moon, Monkey D. Luffy,Vash, GIR, and Rio from Shaman King.
1. Chapter 1

Anime Survivor: Shreenan Island

Season Two

Participants:

Asuka (Evangelion)

Sasuke (Naruto)

Yugi (Yugioh)

Edward (FMA)

Sailor Moon, aka Serena (Sailor Moon)

Osaka (Azumanga Daioh)

Rio (Shaman King)

Luffy (One Piece)

GIR (Invader Zim)

Ritsuko (Fruits Basket)

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Since I am taking creative writing classes, my ability to write has grown some since the last Anime Survivor. I do not want any flames, for I shall use them to toast my toast.

Fan people: Get on with the story already!

Me: You know, tofu is good for your health.

Fan people: SHUT UP AND START THE STORY!

Me: Meep. Here it goes.

Chapter One: New Island, New People

The sun emerged from the horizon, a goddess waking from her slumber. The radiance of the sun spread out to all corners of Osaka's eyes, who had just woken up. She raised her hands to shield the brilliant rays.

"Stupid Shinji." Osaka turned around. Asuka, her redheaded friend, was sleep talking, as usual.

"Wake up Asuka. We have breakfast duty," said Osaka, shaking Asuka's body. Asuka's eyelids parted like the Red Sea.

"Ngghhhh. Hi Osaka…," mumbled Asuka sleepily. Osaka helped Asuka to her feet.

"I shouldn't have entered this stupid contest," Asuka grumbled sluggishly, eyelids drooping.

It was no more, or less than nine hours since the group of ten contestants was stranded on Shreenan Island to begin the second season of Anime Survivor. The group this time contains Uchiha Sasuke, Osaka, Asuka Langely Sohryu, Ritsuko Sohma, Edward Elric, Monkey D. Luffy, Yugi Motoh, Rio (from _Shaman King_), Sailor Moon (however, she is referred to Serena in this fiction), and GIR, from _Invader Zim_.

"Hey, Asuka, have you found any coconuts yet?" asked Osaka, staring up at Asuka, who was in a palm tree.

"Think fast!" Asuka shouted, tossing Osaka a coconut. Osaka fumbled the tropical nut much like a rookie football player receiving the old pigskin from a fellow teammate.

"Hey guys, are you up to a game of duel monsters?" asked Yugi, a short little freshman with wild-colored hair. In his chubby little hands, he held a deck of weird playing cards.

"I found me some coconuts," replied Osaka, shaking a coconut vigorously.

"I'll take that as a no," said Yugi, and walked away. _Why doesn't anyone want to play duel monsters with me? Well, maybe I'll ask that Ritsuko guy. _Yugi looked over to his right, and spotted Sasuke, who was sitting on a large grey boulder, brooding.

"Hey, Sasuke, do you want to play a game of duel monsters with me?" Yugi asked meekly. Sasuke looked up at Yugi, and then returned to his gloom.

"Hey, Yugi! I'll play duel monsters with you!" offered Edward Elric.

'Really? Awesome!" replied Yugi. Edward plucked the leaves off of a nearby plant, arranged a transmutation circle, and clapped his hands together. Almost instantly, a deck of duel monster cards appeared.

"How did you do that?" exclaimed Yugi, amazed.

"It's alchemy," Edward explained.

"Hey, here's your coconut," said Osaka, giving Edward and Yugi a half of coconut each. "Me and Asuka will be gathering more if y-"

"Anyways," interrupted Yugi, "I'll go first. I summon Celtic Knight in attack mode, and I shall put two cards face down. I end my turn."

"I'M SO SORRRRRYYYYYYYYY!" shouted a voice from a fellow contestant. Yugi and Ed abandoned their game of duel monsters and rushed over to where the shouting had come from. "I'm so sorry I was shouting earlier," said Ritsuko, a male who looked a lot like a female. He had lengthy orange hair and a girly-looking face.

"Why did you shout?" questioned Yugi.

"Please forgive me for saying sorry just then! I'm sorry!" cried Ritsu.

"What, I don't understand you. Why are you saying sorry?" queried Ed.

"I'm sorry for shouting that I'm sorry and I'm sorry for saying that!" sobbed Ritsu, "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

"This is going nowhere," sighed Mizu, "Ritsu, stop taking up chapter one with your apologies."

"Yes, Mizu-san."

"Anyway, continue the story," sighed Mizu.

"Taco coconut," chirped GIR, taking a bite out of the coconut half he was given by Osaka.

"You're so cute!" squealed Serena, patting Gir on the head.

"I think you're cute yourself," said Rio, mouth hanging wide open, drooling. Almost any girl could please the desires of Rio.

"Just ignore him," Luffy informed, subsequently yawning. He stretched his rubber-like arms into the sky, and then back down to his sides. "I wonder wait adventures await me today," Luffy sighed.

Little did he or anyone else on the island know that a pirate ship made solely of doughnuts was headed to Shreenan Island, searching for the chosen one…

To be continued…..


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Return of the Doughnut Ship

"And now, I'll finish off your life points with Fart Magician! Fart Magic Attack!" said Ed, playing the Fart Magician card. Yugi's life points went from five hundred to zero.

"Noooooooooo!" lamented Yugi, "That's my first loss to anyone! Now the whole world will know I'm a loser!"

"It's just a game Yugi," sighed Ed. All of a sudden, a gust of wind picked up Yugi's cards.

"NOOOO! My cards!" screamed Yugi, chasing after the duel monster cards. The cards landed in the water of the beach, and the short, wild-haired duelist attempted vainly to salvage them. "My cards…," sobbed Yugi, holding a soggy, disenigrating Kuriboh card, "It's no use…" The sodden cards fell out of Yugi's hands and back into the sea.

"I could make you some new ones," suggested Ed.

"No…those cards were special. My grandfather gave those to me," cried Yugi with racking sobs. Ed sighed. _This kid is hopeless….crying over a bunch of playing cards…_

"Taco ship coming," remarked GIR, who was toasting a wad of gum over a small, sputtering fire.

"You're so cute!" squeaked Serena, holding Gir in her arms.

"Taco ship coming. It taco us," GIR said.

"What does he mean by "taco"? Luffy asked.

"Oh mia hee, mia hoo, mia haa, mia ha ha," sung Rio randomly, trying to impress Serena. She and Luffy rolled their eyes.

"SORRYYYYY!" screamed Ritsu as he sprinted down the beach towards the group.

"What are you sorry about this time?" asked Sasuke, who was still wallowing in depression.

"There's a ship headed for this island and it's made out of doughnuts! I'm so sorry!" informed Ritsu, stopping in front of the five.

"A doughnut ship!" the five chorused, confused.

"Yes, it's made entirely of doughnuts! I'm so sorry I didn't make it over here fast enough."

"Cut it with the sorries!" growled Mizu, stepping into the story.

"Yes, Mizu-san. Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" replied Ritsu.

"LAND HO!" shouted a voice.

"That's them!" announced Ritsu, "They're here!"

Meanwhile…

"You know what Asuka, we should be in another fan fiction together. The fans really seem to like it. How about we be in the next season of Anime Style Survivor together?" asked Osaka, munching on a banana.

"Yeah! There should be one where I beat up Rei!" ejaculated Asuka, balling her fists.

"I don't think the fans would like that…," sighed Osaka. Something frigid wrapped around her arm. "I gotcha!"

"Help me Asuka!" Osaka screamed as she was dragged away into the bushes by a shady anime character.

"I'm coming Osaka!" Asuka shouted back. But she too was pulled away by a mysterious character.

"You know, I wonder where Asuka and Osaka are right now…," wondered Ed.

"My cards…," cried Yugi.

"Shut up about your cards! I'll make you so more if you quit whining!" shouted Ed. Like a bolt from the blue, a feminine scream erupted from a few hundred yards away.

"Yugi! Did you hear that? It might be Asuka or Osaka! We have to go now!"

"My cards…"

Without warning, Ed grabbed ahold of Yugi's arm and began to run, Yugi trailing behind, still crying like a baby.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: At What Cost?

"Oh my God, it's made out of doughnuts!" gasped Serena, looking at the giant pirate ship made of pastries.

"I'm hungry all of a sudden," moaned Luffy, rubbing his belly.

"I sense danger," warned Sasuke, "Everyone! Prepare yourselves!" All of a sudden, a metal doughnut with razor sprinkles came flying out of the ship, narrowly missing Luffy.

"Arrr harrrr," bellowed a voice.

"Who's there?" demanded Serena. There was the whoosh of cloth against wind, and a tall, bearded pirate appeared on the beach. He had spiky, wild orange hair, and he had a fork for his left hand."I am Captain Altair. I come for all females and doughnuts! Hand the blonde wench over and no one gets hurt," he ordered.

"Make-up!" shouted Serena, and with a little dance and some magic she turned into Sailor Moon, "You're not taking me anywhere!" Captain Altair snickered.

"Then if you don't come with me, my crew will be rather…. inappropriate to the wenches on board," cackled Captain Altair. Asuka and Osaka were hanging up in a net on the ship.

"How could you? You will pay for this! Gum gum double barrel!" shouted Luffy. He pulled back his arms, preparing for his attack, but was stopped by Sasuke. "If you hurt him, those two might not live. Don't think irrationally." advised Sasuke.

"Fine! I'll go with you!" pouted Sailor Moon, surrendering herself to Captain Altair.

"No, take me," said Ritsu.

"But Ritsu…," whined Sailor Moon, "You're…."

"But they don't know that," replied Ritsu, "Feel free to take me aboard, Captain. Just leave Serena alone."

"Arr, we have a deal," agreed Captain Altair, snapping his fingers to signal his crew to put Ritsu aboard. As they carried Ritsu away, Sailor Moon turned back into Serena. "But what shall we do about Osaka and Asuka?" she questioned Luffy and Sasuke. The ship was now pulling away from shore.

"Just be patient," said Sasuke, "I believe Ritsu has a plan we don't know about…"

"Heheheee. We found ourselves some pretty wenches," chuckled Captain Altair. He poked Asuka's belly with his finger.

"Hey! Don't touch me!" oredered Asuka. The pimpy pirate poked her again. Asuka poked him in the arm.

"A poking war is declared!" exclaimed Osaka. While Asuka was in a poking war, Ritsu was in a corner, muttering to GIR, who hid in his kimono.

"Now GIR, when I take off my kimono, you must make your eyes glow red. I will then say everything necessary, alright?"

"Alright taco," whispered GIR.

"Hey, guys!" shouted Ritsu, "It's time for a little teaser!" All the male pirate turned around and began to drool with excitement. Ritsu ripped off his kimono and GIR hopped out.

"She's no a woman! It's a male!" yelled the pirates. Then, GIR's eyes began to glow crimson.

"If you do not take me and the girls back to the island, I shall order my monster to zap you all instantly to smithereens with his Eye Beams!" The pirates screamed like girls, even Captain Altair.

"Aye matey! We shall take you back! Just don't sic your monster on us!" cried Captain Altair, wiping tears from his eyes. And then, the pirate ship turned around, and sailed back to Shreenan Island.

"YES! Land!" cried Osaka happily, kissing the beach ground.

"At first Ritsu, I thought you were an insecure dork like Shinji. But, I guess I owe you one, don't I?" said Asuka.

"Thank-you," said Ritsu, smiling.

"And thank-you for the food!" thanked Luffy, patting his belly (he ate the doughnut ship, as well as the people on it).

"Hey, is everyone alright?" questioned Ed, appearing on the scene, "Oh, wait, I'm late, aren't I?"

Everybody nodded their heads. Even though he didn't help, Ed felt good knowing that his fellows were safe and sound.

"My cards!" whined Yugi. And with that, Ed transmuted some nearby plants into depression medication, and gave them to Yugi so he would quit crying.

Next on Shreenan Island: Luffy gets hunger fever, and begins to eat the island off the face of the earth! What will happen to the others? Only Chapter Four will tell! Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Luffy's Little Problem

"Hey guys, I'm hungry. When's dinner?" questioned Luffy.

"You just ate the whole doughnut ship five hours ago," Rio said, exhaling.

"I know, but when you have a rubber stomach…" Luffy pointed out, "You have to eat a lot." Yugi danced around the group merrily (he was on his anti-depression medication).

"You know what, I don't know which Yugi is more annyoing: a happy Yugi or a whining Yugi," sighed Ed.

"Must have…MEAT!" roared Luffy, running towards Yugi.

"No! Don't eat him Luffy!" cried Osaka. Luffy grabbed ahold of Yugi.

"Big hug!" squealed Yugi, Luffy subsequently biting off the duelist's head with one giant chomp.

"You bit his head off!" gasped Serena. Luffy smiled evilly, cheeks full of Yugi flesh. Right after Yugi took another bite of Yugi, Osaka fainted. "Luffy! Stop eating him!" ordered Ed, "You're starting to remind me of Gluttony!"

"Food," growled Luffy, finishing off the rest of Yugi. Luffy began to walk towards Ed.

"Here, eat this instead!" ordered Ed, transforming some nearby plants into some apples and pears. "Everybody, get away from Luffy" shouted Ed, "I can take care of him!" So, as instructed, everyone ran off. Ritsuko and Rio carried the unconscious Osaka away.

"MORE! FOOD!" Ed transmuted a living hog into a roasted hog. Luffy ate it. Ed transformed a tree into a pile of broccoli. Luffy ate that as well. Then, Ed transmuted the half of the forest into broccoli. Luffy at the broccoli forest.

"More…..FOOOOOOOOOOOD!" shouted Luffy. And then Ed had a wonderful idea. Before you could say "alchemist" the whole ocean turned into beer. Ed led Luffy over to the alcoholic ocean, and the straw-hat pirate began to slurp away. "_I really hope this works…" _Ed hoped.

"Hic…no…more…hic…food…" hiccuped Luffy, drunk.

"Okay everyone, you can come out now!" shouted Ed. One by one the other contestants emerged from behind rocks.

"There's only one problem, if we keep Luffy on this island, he's going to eat everything," said Ed, "Does anyone have a cellphone?"

Not too much longer, Luffy was airlifted off the island by the USMC. "Well, I guess we're down to nine people now," said Rio.

"No, actually eight. Luffy ate Yugi," Asuka reminded.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," said Rio.

"Anyone up for dinner?" questioned Ritsuko, his arms full of various tropical fruits.

"Where did you find those?" questioned everyone else except Sasuke and GIR. Sasuke had caught some fish earlier to eat.

"I'll show you tommorow," answered Ritsuko, and then, the seven sat down and ate a Yugi and Luffy free dinner.

To Be continued….

Preview: Ritsuko tells of a special place where there is all the food you can eat! But it comes at a price, and its not money! Find out in the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Fruit?

Serena sat up, and rubbed her eyes. She looked at her watch, and observed it was five past eight. She looked at her fellow teammates. They were all asleep, except for Sasuke, who was eating a banana. Serena asked him "Hey Sasuke, are you going to go on the trip with Ritsuko?" Sasuke swallowed the rest of his banana, and shook his head, signaling a no.

"Well, alright," Serena sighed.

"Taco morning!" chirped GIR.

"Good morning Serena!"

"Konichiwa!"

As soon as everyone had said hello, the group departed for their trip to find the plethora of fruit Ritsuko had spoken of the other day. Of course, theonly one who did not go was Sasuke. He was sitting on top of a rock, playing solitare on his laptop (do not ask where I get my randomness).

"So Ritsuko, just wait type of fruit is at this location?" asked Osaka.

"You'll see right now," answered Ritsuko, pushing some leaves aside, revealing a small open area. Guys dressed in pink garments and turqoise jewelry danced merrily around a little fire.

"Sorry! I didn't mean that type of fruit!" sobbed Ritsu, "There used to be bananas and oranges and pears, but now they're all gone!"

"It's alright Ritsu," sighed Serena, "But how did they get here?" All of a sudden, Mizu, the author of this story stepped in.

"Okay, non-edible fruits out of my story! I said there would be no shonen ai or yaoi whatsoever in my profile! Now out!" Mizu demanded. Ayame Sohma looked up at Mizu and began to protest, subsequently being smushed like a fly by the almighty and powerful Mizu. With this, the pink-clad men sailed off the island immediately and fled to Peru.

"And, now, for the actual fruit," said Mizu, dumping a heap of oranges, pears, plums, persimmons, grapes, bananas, apples, watermelons, cherries, blueberries, grapefruit, lemons, limes, kiwis, strawberries, boysenberries, pineapple, and peaches onto the island. Little did she know that a giant watermelon fell on Serena's head and sent her to the next world. The group of anime characters mourned her death and buried her under a palm tree.

To be continued…

Okay, okay, so this chapter was short, but I have been feeling sick lately. Sorry fans. I'll make chapter six longer.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Fight fight fight!

Disclaimer: Ok, I'm back, and now I'm going to write more. It turns out I wasn't really sick, I just had too many M&Ms, and I got a stomache-ache. That is all.

"You know, I've always wondered who will be disqualified next," said Osaka, speaking with a mouthful of grapes.

"Taco you taco," voiced GIR.

"What! Surely not me!" gasped Osaka.

"Don't worry, he's just saying things," sighed Asuka.

"I'm sorry Serena died…" apologized Ritsu, who still hadn't got over the blonde's death.

"It's not your fault!" shouted Sasuke, getting out of his brooding mode.

"Don't be so rude, Sasuke!" snapped Asuka, slapping Sasuke on the face. Sasuke squinted evilly at Asuka. "And don't give me that look, pretty boy!" she snarled. The Uchiha ninja pulled out a kunai from his pocket.

"Taco fight taco," chirped GIR. Asuka drove her foot into Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke gritted his teeth in pain, and flung a kunai at Asuka, which nicked her cheek.

"You two, stop it!" ordered the Fullmetal Alchemist. Both ignored him. The redheaded EVA pilot knocked a shuriken aside with a slap of her hand, and sent an uppercut jab into the ninja's jaw. Sasuke ignored the pain and dug a kunai into Asuka's shoulder.

"STOP IT!" demanded Ed, again attempting to break up the fight.

"Dumkopft!" growled Asuka, ripping the kunai out of her shoulder, blood dripping from the steel weapon. "Mother will kill you…" the redhead shouted. A thundering noise sounded from the distance. Everyone stopped what he or she was doing. Asuka smiled demonically.

"It can't be…" Sasuke gasped, petrified, "The great Red Warrior from Germany." The head of Evangelion Unit Two peeked out from behind a mountain. All Sasuke could do was stare at it as it came closer and closer. Soon enough, Sasuke was just a few yards away from the EVA. The red Evangelion looked down at Sasuke, hungrily.

"My mommy will protect me from scary boys," said Asuka, still grinning diabolicly. Evangelion Unit Two picked Sasuke up with its right hand, and squinted its eyes angrily at the ninja. Sasuke began to cry. Asuka laughed at Sasuke's pitiful cries.

"Don't kill me…" sobbed Sasuke.

"Asuka! Stop it!" Edward yelled, "Come on guys, help me!" Osaka just stared up at Sasuke. Ritsu began to repeat word "sorry" repeatedly. GIR ate a taco.

"Don't kill me!" whined Sasuke. He felt the EVA's grip tighten around him. Suddenly, he knew what was coming. There was a loud _POP,_ and Sasuke's severed head fell to the ground (Asuka later mounted it on her trophy wall, which had the heads of the Angels she destroyed). The Evangelion continued to squeeze Sasuke's body, until it was a bloody pulp.

"That was overkill…" sighed Osaka.

"Well at least mom got the job done," Asuka replied.

"I want my mommy!" cried a ver familiar voice.

"Sasuke?"

There he was, the Uchiha ninja, sitting ontop of a rock, crying like a two year old.

"What? I thought mother killed you!" gasped Asuka.

"He used ninjutsu to create a copy of himself," Ed informed.

"Well forget that!" said Osaka, " He's having a mental breakdown! We must call a helicopter!" So Osaka got out her Hello Kitty cellphone and called up Life Flight. They took Sasuke to a mental asylum and kept him there for the rest of his life.

Ed exaled deeply while roasting a strawberry over a small fire.

"I wonder who will be the next to go…" said Osaka.

"Don't start," ordered Ed.


	7. Chapter 7

The Chapter I Couldn't Find A Title For

Author's note no Edward Elrics were hurt in the process of making this chapter. All stunts and gory deaths are performed by stunt actors (anime freaks) who go through extensive training and plastic surgery to cosplay as their favorite character because they have no life whatsoever. Kids, parents, and parakeets, do not try to re-enact this at home

A large raindrop fell onto the cheek of Osaka. She wiped it off, and rolled onto her side. Asuka and Ritsu were still sleeping, snoring. Ed was leaning up against a palm tree, staring contemplatively at the cloudy sky. GIR was hopping around like a crazed maniac.

"Taco taco!" squealed GIR. Then, without warning, he shedded his green doggie suit, and his eyes glowed vermilion.

"GIR reporting for duty!" he voiced.

"What the heck!" gasped Osaka, jumping to her feet. Ed's eyes grew in shock.

"It's a demon!" the blonde alchemist shouted. He transmuted his automail arm into the arm blade, preparing to fight.

"No! No more fights!" interrupted Ritsu, who just woke up, "Remember what happened last time a fight occurred? Sasuke had to be sent off to the insane asylum!"

"Sasuke was weird from the start!" replied Ed hastily, "Die, diabolic doggie demon of dangerously dark doom!"

"That's a lot of D's," commented Osaka from the sidelines. Ed sighed. He was almost sure GIR was a demon, or a possessed puppet of some sort.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, isn't he so cute and cuddly," said Asuka, cradling GIR in her arms.

"What? That "thing" is cuddly?" Ed questioned, dumbfounded. Asuka nodded her head in response.

"Here, you try cuddling him." Asuka handed GIR over to Edward.

"You're right...he is kinda cute." Then, before Ed could mutter another word, GIR blew off Edward's head with his almighty taco eye beams.

"You killed off the leading anime character of Full Metal Alchemist!" moaned Asuka, "Now there's going to be no more FMA!"

"Well, at least there will be no FMA spin-offs or sequels…you know how sequels turn out…" Ritsu pointed out optimistically.

"The fans will be livid with rage…we'll have to vaccinate the author of this story for rabies shots!" Osaka blurted out.

"NO! NO SHOTS!" screamed Mizu Miyamoto, "Or I won't give you guys your paychecks!" The anime characters hung their heads, and GIR put down the giant author-size hypodermic he held.

Later, the group of anime characters buried Ed (actually, one of his many stunt actors), and his head in Millsberry Pet Cemetery. He is resting peacefully next to Millie the hamster.


	8. Writers Block, Author's Block, Whatever

Chapter eight! Author's block, writer's block, whatever you call it. 

"Well, now that we're only down to me, GIR, Osaka, and Ritsu, who's gonna get booted off next?" questioned Asuka.

"I guess that's for the author to decide," replied Ritsu, eating a banana.

"But right now the writer has a writer's block!" Osaka informed, pointing to Mizu, who was curled up in a ball next to a mossy boulder. Ever since the last chapter, Mizu ideas were scared out of her head, thanks to the threat of getting a shot.

"What if we made the rest of the story on our own?" queried Ritsu, a light bulb appearing over his head.

"The rules of fanfiction won't let us do that," sighed Asuka.

"Taco," muttered GIR randomly. There was a noise of several objects hurtling towards earth at a high velocity.

"Oh no! Meteors!" Asuka screamed.

"They're not meteors! They're writer's blocks!" shouted Osaka.

"What's the difference!" the red head shot back, hiding under a bush. Then, a "writer's block" hit the nearby ground. It was nothing more than a metallic cube. One landed near Ritsu, who was in a hollow tree trunk, and sent sand flying everywhere.

"When will they stop?" Asuka yelled.

"When the writer, Mizu, comes up with something for this story!" was the reply from Osaka. Asuka nodded her head.

"Hey, Mizu, think of bananas!"

"I've already used those in my story!" Mizu yelled, still curled up in a ball.

"How about reality shows?"

"Overused!"

"A video game!"

"Already done!"

"Oompa Loompas!"

"NOOOOOO!NOT THE OOMPA LOOMPAS!" cried Mizu.

"Oompa Loompas with mustaches!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Mustachioed Oompa Loompas with machine guns!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mizu ran out of breath and passed out. The sky stopped raining writer's blocks.

"Well, I guess its safe to come out of hiding now," said Ritsu, stepping out from the hollowed out tree. Asuka crawled out from under the bush she used as temporary refuge. GIR stood where he was, chanting "taco" over and over again.

"So, now that that's over with, now what do we do?" questioned Asuka.

"I don't know," Osaka said.

Ritsu pointed out at a dark form over the horizon and said, "Hey, you two, look!" Osaka and Asuka turned their attention to what Ritsu was pointing at.

"They can't be!" gasped Ritsu, "They're assault ships!"

"What do you mean by that?" interrogated Osaka.

"The battle of Normandy, D-Day!" replied Ritsu, "They're the ships used to unload soldiers for a marinal assault!"

"And what's so bad about that?" questioned Asuka, curling her red locks with her finger.

"You said to Mizu something about mustachioed Oompla Loompas with machine guns, didn't you?"

"Yeah. So?"

"The Oompa Loompas probably think we're their enemy! They're going to storm the beach and kill us!"

"I don't wanna be killed by an Oompa Loompa!" Osaka cried like a junior high school girl. Then, she stopped her act, and exclaimed, "Asuka! Your EVA! Your EVA can kill em!"

Asuka hung her head. "My EVA is in Paris for matinence."

"We can run and hide!"

"It's no use. They will find us eventually. Hopefully they'll take us as prisoner."

"But we must let Anime Survivor continue! We can't just end it without someone winning!" Osaka stated, her hands on her hips, "Think about all the fans we'll be letting down! We can't let that happen!"

"Osaka's right! Plus, we have GIR! He can use his laser eye beams!"

"Taco," said GIR unintelligently.

"Or not," exhaled Ritsu.

"I have an idea," said Motoko Kusangi, appearing out of nowhere. Motoko was a purple-haired femme fatale with the body of a cybernetic goddess. She was from Section Nine, a special police agency in Tokyo that dealt with cases such as these.

"Hey, you're that chcik from Ghost in the Shell!" exclaimed Osaka.

"Yes, but that's not the point. If you want to live, we'll have to have someone jack into Mizu's nervous system," said Major Kusanagi, "Who's up for it?"

"I'll go!" exclaimed Osaka happily. Next, Major Kusanagi attached a green wire to Osaka's head, and then to Mizu's head. She hit a button on a weird device, and Osaka slumped to the ground.

"Uh, is she supposed to do that?" Asuka queried. Major nodded in reply. Now all that stood between the continuation of this fiction was Osaka, and what went on inside of Mizu's head.


	9. Enter the author!

Enter the Writer!

Osaka's eyes opened, revealing the strange world around her. She was within a spherical room, about the size of a football stadium. Several dawn-tinted kangaroos jumped gleefully here and there.

"Excuse me Mr. Kangaroo," Osaka asked the nearest kangaroo, "Where do you think I might be able to find Mizu Miyamoto?" The kangaroo scratched its pink head, and then hopped away. "That was of no use," sighed Osaka. All of a sudden, the fuschia marsupial began to jump and down crazily. Osaka walked over to it, and then a door appeared. She raised an eyebrow, opened the door, and walked in.

Back in the physical world, Ritsu glanced anxiously at his wristwatch. The assault boats with the mustachioed, machine gun carrying Oompa Loompas were getting closer by the minute.

"When do you think Osaka will get things straightened out?" Asuka questioned Major Kusanagi.

"It depends on several factors. I'm expecting it will take around thirty- to forty-five minutes," Motoko retorted.

"And how much time do we have till the Oompa Loompas arrive?"

"About forty-six minutes. And even if Osaka does manage to contact the writer, we will need heavy backup to kill off the invading Oompa Loompas." Ritsu and Asuka sighed.

"Is there any good news you can give us?" interrogated Asuka.

"For such an egregious situation, no." Asuka made a mad face.

"Hurry up Osaka…."

Now, Osaka was in a room even stranger than the next. She was in an office building full of rotting bovine carcasses. The schoolgirl pinched her nose, hoping to relieve herself from the malodorous stench. It did her no good. Then, without warning, the rotting cow corpses began to rise off the ground.

"AAGHH!COW ZOMBIES!" screamed Osaka in absolute terror. The cow's rotting eyes glowed red, and oozed with a thick, syrupy mucus the color of cheetos. The ooze dripped onto the floor, and from the slime garden gnomes were born. Osaka screamed some more. Then, the zombie cows, and the garden gnomes fell to the ground, dead.

"Did you want to see Mrs. Patterson?" questioned a handsome young man clad in army fatigues. It was none other than the famous Jimmy Patterson, the star of the Medal of Honor: Frontline video game!

"Yes! Where is she!" Osaka asked.

"Follow me," said Lieutenant First Class Jimmy Patterson. Osaka followed him obediently into an elevator. The soldier pressed a few buttons, the doors closed, and the elevator sped up to the thirteen and a half floor. There, the door slid open. Now, Osaka and Jimmy were in a normal room. It was like room that the CEO of a an office would have: it had a oaken desk at the end of the room, a ninety-nine inch plasma TV on the wall, a Pocky machine, several bookshelves of books (mostly manga), and the CEO, Mizu Miyamoto of course. She was wearing a black pinstripe suit.

"What is it Jimmy?" Mizu questioned.

"This anime character, Osaka, came here for you," he replied.

"Oh, did she? You know I have this place limits off to everyone except you and me, right Jimmy? Oh well. What's your problem Osaka?"

"Well, you see, the fan-fiction I'm in is in danger of being taken over by Oompa Loompas," explained Osaka.

"How very serious," mused Mizu, holding a stick of chocolate Pocky between her fingers, "Jimmy, I think we have ourselves a mission." Mizu snapped her fingers, and the bookshelves slid down into the floor below, revealing shelves of various guns. There were machine guns, sub-machine guns, pistols, shot guns, muskets, blunderbusses, rifles, sniper rifles, bazookas, slingshots, and potato mashers.

"Go ahead and take your pick," Mizu said to Osaka.The schoolgirl picked up a magnum complete with a golden barrel and handle. Mizu picked up her personal favorite, the Gewher sniper rifle. She picked up a Browning automatic rifle for Jimmy.

"Oh, and Jimmy," Mizu cooed, walking over to the soldier, "Stay alive, and I'll treat you to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory."

Asuka tapped her foot impatiently. "They should be back in nineteen minutes," remarked, Ritsu, looking at his watch. There was a flash of brilliant light, and three more people were standing on the beach.

"Osaka! You're back! And you're with Mizu!" exclaimed Asuka, "And who's this handsome soldier?"

"Back off redhead, he's mine," snapped Mizu. Asuka hunched over. "Man, why are the cute guys always unavailable…" she muttered to herself.

"Well, anyway," said Major Motoko, "Here's weapons for you guys." She distributed two machine guns plus ammo to Ritsuko and Asuka. GIR received a Colt .45 pistol.

"Oh my, God, the Oompa Loompas!" gasped Ritsu, they're almost here!" The Ooompa Loompas were now four minutes from reaching the shore. Motoko whispered some stuff into a walkie-talkie. Then, several spider-like tanks crawled out from the forest. These were the Tachikoma, the special weapons of Section Nine.

"Everyone! Battle positions!" shouted Mizu. Ritsu and Osaka scrambled behind a rock. GIR hid under a leaf. Motoko sat on the top one of the Tachikoma, and Mizu and Jimmy hid behind a pile of sandbags, which appeared with the snap of Mizu's fingers. Then, the first shots rang out. The Oompa Loompas began to disembark, firing their guns as soon as they got out of the assault boats. The Tachikoma returned fire at the Oompa Loompas, knocking out dozens of the maniacal midgets. Osaka hopped out from behind the rock, and shot an Oompa Loompa right between the eyes. Ritsu nailed several in the stomach, and some in the head. GIR even managed to kill an Oompa Loompa! But then, the Oompa Loompas revealed their secret weapon; The Loompa Panzer! It rolled off one of the assault ships, into the shallow water. It fired a single shell at a nearby Tachikoma, blowing it to pieces. Another Loompa Panzer rolled off an assault boat. Another Tachikoma was reduced to smithereens.

"Leave this to me," said Jimmy. He pulled out a beer bottle full of a brown liquid, pulled the cap off, stuck a rag in the neck of the bottle, and then lit one end on fire. Next, he dashed out to the nearest Loompa Panzer, firing his machine gun as he ran.

"Good God Jimmy, not a Molotov cocktail…" There was an explosion, and one of the Loompa Panzers blew up. Jimmy ran back to the pile of sandbags where Mizu was. "Just throw a grenade next time…you got me worried that you would blow yourself up…" sighed the author of this story.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield, Osaka, Asuka, GIR, and Ritsu were running low on ammunition. "SheiBe! Out of bullets!" cursed Asuka, throwing her gun to the ground. A nearby Tachikoma was blown to oblivion.

"I don't think we can hold on much longer…" lamented Ritsu.

"No! We must continue! We must continue to please the fans!" retorted Osaka.

"I don't care about the fans anymore," said Ritsu.

"But what about that one who always says that you're hers! You can't let her down!"

"I guess I can't," said Ritsu, a bullet barely missing his beautiful face.

"NO! GIR!" shouted Asuka, watching GIR being dragged off by an Oompa Loompa. She was about to run out to go save him, but someone held her back.

"Mizu! I have to save GIR!" snarled Asuka.

"No. I won't let two people be booted off the island in one chapter."

"So this is all about you, isn't it? All you care about is getting more fan reviews! Well, I have a fellow anime character in need and I'm not just going to let him, or her, whatever GIR is, be captured and held prisoner by Oompa Loompas! Now let me go!" snapped Asuka, thrashing wildly to get out of Mizu's grip. Finally, Mizu gave up, and Asuka ran out to get liberate GIR, her only weapon being her empty machine gun. A tank shell exploded not too far away from her, nonetheless, she cotinued to run, butting Oompa Loompas aside with her gun. Then, a bullet ripped into her leg, sending her falling face first into the water.

"This is a man's job," said Jimmy, speaking up.

"No! Not you Jimmy!" Jimmy ignored Mizu, and charged out into the battelfield. Asuka rose out of the water, dripping wet, but the pain from her wound was too much for her to handle. She slumped into the shallow water, gritting her teeth in pain. Soon enough Jimmy came to her aid, and picked the red headed warrior up. Then he too, was injured by a bullet, but instead the small projectile had ripped through his abdomen. He shrugged off the pain, and ran back towards the shore where Mizu and the others were.

"JIMMY!" cried Mizu, sobbing. A bullet sunk itself into Jimmy's torso, and then another sped through his left arm. He dumped Asuka, who had passed out, to the ground near Ritsuko's feet, and then he collapsed to the sand. Mizu ripped off a long strand of material from the bottom of her pinstripe pants, and tied it around Jimmy's wounded arm. He turned his head to the side, and coughed up a large amount of blood.

"Oh good God, Motoko!" shouted Mizu at the top of her lungs, " I need medical assistance!" There was no reply from Motoko, who was nowhere to be seen.

"Mizu…" coughed Jimmy, hacking up more blood, "I…love you." And then, without warning, both Mizu and Jimmy disappeared in a flash of blinding white light.

"Where did they go?" gasped Osaka.

"MUAHAHHHAAAAA!" boomed a sinister, demonic voice.

"Who is that? What did you do with Jimmy and Mizu?" interrogated Ritsu.

"They are with me now!" blasted the voice, "As for I, I am WILLY WONKA!"

"No! Not the creepy guy from that one movie!" cried Ritsu, burying his head in his arms. Asuka woke up. "What's going on here guys?"

To answer her question, Willy Wonka stepped out from behind a rock, equipped with rocket launchers, and Oompa Loompa bodyguards.

"Oh meine Gott!" gasped Asuka, subsequently fainting. The Oompa Loompas pointed their machine guns at Asuka, Osaka, and Ritsuko.

"Don't kill them. Instead, let's take them to our Chocolate Factory!" ordered Willy Wonka. The Oompa Loompas restrained the anime characters with chains and ropes of various sizes. They put Asuka in a cage, since she was knocked out. Next, they loaded them up onto Willy Wonka's Viking ship.

"How humiliating…taken prisoner by Oompa Loompas…" sighed Ritsu, "If only Jimmy and Mizu were still here…"

End of this chapter.

Coming up next: Osaka, Asuka, and Ritsuko are now imprisoned within the walls of the Wonka Chocolate Factory! Willy Wonka has some sadistic plans for our anime characters up his sleeve, some containing usage of…. lingerie! What will they do? And what about Mizu, GIR, and Jimmy? What will become of them? And most importantly, what will become of _Anime Survivor, Season Two: Shreenan Island_ now that Willy Wonka has taken control of the story! The insanity insues in chapter nine!


	10. Death To Willy Wonka!

**CHAPTER TEN!**

"I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die…" cried Asuka, curled up in a ball within her cage.

"Asuka, we're going to get out of this," assured Osaka, who was also in a cage.

"Sh-sh-shut up!" stuttered a stuttering Oompa Loompa guard. Osaka glared at him, and then turned around in her cage, her back facing the Oompa Loompa. She glanced to her right to look at Ritsu, who was asleep. _Maybe I'll just go to sleep too…_ Then, there was a tumultuous blast of a horn.

"WE'RE HERE!" announced the Oompla Loompa that was captain of the ship. The Oompa Loompa soldier picked up Osaka and her cage. Nearby was Willy Wonka, who was smiling evilly.

"What are going to do with me?" Osaka interrogated angrily.

"That will be for me to decide," replied Willy Wonka, licking his lips.

"I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die," Asuka sobbed.

"Put a sock in it girl!" ordered a rather fat Oompa Loompa, "Willy Wonka, your highness, what shall we do with them?" Willy Wonka walked over to him and whispered something in the Oompa Loompa's ear. The Oompa Loompa nodded, hauled off Asuka, and then directed some Oompa Loompa comrades to ship off Ritsu. Osaka watched in horror as two green and purple Oompa Loompas strided over to her. They hoisted her cage, and herself along with it, off the ground.

"And where do I take this one?" questioned the same fat Oommpa Loompa from before.

"For her," said Willy Wonka, looking Osaka in the eye, "Take her to the fudge room."

"Fudge?" muttered Osaka, a question mark popping up over her head. As she contemplated on the subject of fudge, she was carried off.

The fudge room was enormous. There were giant vats, of which Osaka guessed to be fudge (I mean, after all, it is the fudge room). Tied up near a fudge vat were Mizu and Asuka.

"Mizu, Asuka! You're alright!" rejoiced Osaka.

"I don't want to be fudged I don't want to be fudged I don't want to be fudged!" Mizu and Asuka repeated over and over, broken records.

"Ahem! Attention girls!" said Willy Wonka's voice. Standing in the doorway of the fudge room was the infamous man. "From today to the rest of your lives, you will become my personal slaves. You will do as I say, for if you don't there will be strict punishments. Now, for today's torture! Oompa Loompas, bring out the torture devices!"

An Ooompa Loompa wheeled a large rack of various lingerie out from behind a vat of fudge. "WHAT? You're going to make us wear those?" screamed Asuka.

"You can pick, or I'll pick for you," Willy Wonka chuckled.

"I'd pick whichever one covers up the most area," Mizu whispered into Asuka's ear.

"I'd rather die than put on any of those!" moaned Asuka.

"Then I guess I'll pick for you," stated Willy Wonka. He picked up a black lace thong and matching top for Asuka.

"EEEEEWWWWWW!" whined Asuka.

"Put it on, or I'll put it on for you!"

"But how I am supposed to do that when I'm tied up?"

Meanwhile, Ritsu was not having a good time. You wouldn't have a good time either if you were tied up and suspened over a cocoa bean grinder. With each hour that passed, Ritsu would sink lower and lower, ever closer to the slicing, dicing, mincing, chopping, whirring blades of the cocoa bean grinder. Jimmy and GIR were in the same predicament as well.

"So, how does it feel knowing you'll be ground up into little bits and put into chocolate that would feed kids all over the world?" Jimmy asked Ritsu.

"Awful…and what's worse, Willy Wonka will probably get away with this, and there won't be a single lawsuit filed," sighed Ritsu, "I just hopes it ends fast.

"Taco not end fast," said GIR.

"We didn't need that," chorused Jimmy and Ritsu. And then, the three sank lower to the grinder's blades.

"Now what are you going to do with us?" questioned the three girls, standing in lingerie. Mizu was wearing a red bikini bottom and a triangle cut top. On her head were bunny ears. Osaka was wearing a tiger-skin strapless top with a matching bottom.

"Now, I shall lower you three into the vats of fudge up to your necks. Oompa Loompas, prepare to fudge them!" declared Willy Wonka. Several Oompa Loompas tied the females up again, and dangled them over the vats of fudge.

"Commence lowering!"

Osaka watched in horror as the fudge came closer to her feet.

"NO! DON'T FUDGE ME! I DON'T WANT TO BE FUDGED! HELP ME MOM! HELP ME ! HELP MEEEEEEE!" shrieked Asuka at the very tippity top of her lungs. Mizu hung her head, waiting for the fudge to engulf her body.

"Hey, Asuka, Mizu. What do you think he plans to do with us after we've been fudged?" Osaka asked innocently.

"I'm gonna lick it all off of you all! MUHAAAAAAA!" replied Willy Wonka, laughing like a true villian. Osaka felt the fudge touch her toes, and then her legs. _No! This can't be happening! Please help me! _

_"No. I can't let this happen. I promised to the readers of my story this would be Shreenan Island, Anime Survivor,_" Mizu thought to herself as her feet touched the fudge,_ "And right now, none of us are on Shreenan Island. I won't let my fiction be taken over by Willy Wonka! _I WON'T LET YOU TAKE OVER MY FIC WILLY WONKA!" Bright blue energy surrounded Mizu, and the ropes that bound her were instantly incinerated. She floated above the chocolate on her own will, and looked at Willy Wonka angrily. Mizu's eyes grew blue, and angel wings shot out of her back. Willy Wonka gasped, unsure of what to do.

"Listen you, Willy Wonka!" boomed Mizu, "This is _MY _fanfiction and _I'M_ the writer. All that oppose shall be _KILLED_!"

"Try anything and I'll lower GIR, Jimmy, and Ritsu into the cocoa bean grinder!" said Willy Wonka, pulling out a remote control.

"SCREW THE REMOTE CONTROL!" shouted Mizu, pointing her finger at the device. Faster than Willy Wonka could push a button, a blue jet of energy erupted from Mizu's finger and anihillated the remote.

"Yeah! You go girl!" shouted Osaka.

"Good thing I carry a spare," said Willy Wonka, pulling out another remote. It too, was obliterated.

"You are next," said Mizu, staring at the freaky candy factory owner vengefully.

"Mommy!" cried Willy Wonka. And then, just like that, he was a heap of ashes on the ground.

"Now that I'm the author in control, everyone will return back to Shreenan Island, and me and Jimmy will be at the Cheesecake Factory," announced Mizu. An so, in a flash of light, GIR, Ritsu, Asuka, and Osaka were back on Shreenan Island. Jimmy and Mizu wound up at the Cheesecake Factory. In short, everything was back to normal, and Willy Wonka free.

_**Next on Shreenan Island:**_

The world is coming to an end! In the three days left of their time, the winner will be decided! Who will it be? Only time will tell! So make sure you check it out!

_And for the idiots out there, you do not swallow toothpaste. Or fruitcake._


	11. The End is Nigh

**Chapter Eleven: The End Is Nigh. Day One of Four**

Asuka gazed out at the orange and purple sunset. A dolphin jumped out of the water. "Hey, I've always wanted to ride a dolphin," commented Osaka randomly.

"Taco," said GIR, less randomly. A scream broke the serenity, and Ritsu came running out of the woods, newspaper in hands.

"What's wrong Ritsu?" questioned Osaka.

"The world! It's going to end in four days!" he announced.

"What! Are you reading the Enquirer?" queried Asuka, raising an eyebrow.

"No! It's the local newspaper from Guam!" There was an awkward silence.

"Are you sure the world's going to end in four days?" Osaka asked, making sure Ritsu was not lying. A meteorite fell into the ocean a few miles from shore.

"It's coincidence," muttered Asuka," The world is not going to end for another billion years." Another meteorite fell. Then another, and another, until it was literally raining meteorites.

"We've got to find shelter!" shouted Ritsuko, "Everybody, follow me!"

"You expect us to live in here?" Asuka complained, scrunching up her face in disgust at the small cave.

"Well, if you want to live, this is your best bet," Ritsuko pointed out. Asuka sighed, and then crept into the little cave, followed by Osaka, then Ritsu, and then finally, GIR.

"So, Ritsu, what's one thing you want to do before you die?" Osaka asked.

"Nobody's going to die! This is just a little meteor show, nothing more! We're going to live through this, and there's going to be a third Anime Survivor," said Asuka. She looked out at the outside of the cave. "Let's just hope the entrance doesn't get blocked…"

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to take a nap," proclaimed Osaka, using a rock as a pillow.

"Taco revelations taco," said GIR, before going to sleep.

"But Seele, it's not time to release the EVA series!"

"You will do as I say. Now begin the Instrumentality Project!"

Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, nine planes floated gently on the air currents.

"I said release the EVA series now!"

The bomb doors opened on the planes. Nine white EVAs, all winged, flew out of the planes, each equipped with a double-bladed lance. The planes disappeared off into the stratosphere, leaving the EVAs to fly off to Shreenan Island by themselves.

Osaka yawned sleepily. "Well, the world hasn't ended yet," proclaimed Asuka, putting her hands on her hips, "Besides, you can't trust the Enquirer."

"I can feel it taco in my taco veins…the tacos are near," said GIR in a monotone voice, "The tacos will kill us all…and they taco will begin with taco Asuka."

"Just ignore him," sighed Osaka, talking to Asuka, "Wait, do you hear that?" The rustling of wind against feathers.

"The tacos…the EVA tacos series have arrived."

Ritsu poked his head out of the cave. A giant (think 1000 feet tall) white being was standing in the forest. The thing had white wings composed of feathers.

"They're here! The angels!" gasped Ritsu, "The apocalypse is going to begin!"

"But all the angels are dead!" pointed Asuka, "You're just seeing things!"

"Come see for yourself!"

Asuka walked up to the front of the cave, and instantly knew what the white beings were the EVA series. "They are beginning the Instrumentality Project already! I hope my Eve's done in Paris…" Asuka pulled out her cellphone and dialed a number.

"Hey, is Evangelion Unit Two still stationed in Paris?"

"Yes."

"Get it out of there! The EVA ser-"Asuka's cellphone ran out of batteries. "Oh SheiBe!" she cursed (sheiBe is German for poo).

"We're all gonna die!" cried Ritsu.

"We're all gonna go to taco!"

"I don't want to die…" mumbled Asuka, beginning to go psychotic, "I don't want to die DON'T LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE MOMMA MOMMA MOMMA HELP ME I DON'T WANNA DIE MOMMA!" Then, without warning, the ceiling of the cave was ripped off by a giant white hand. The head of Unit 06 peered down at the group of anime characters. With its large hand, it reached down, closing around Asuka.

"DON'T KILL ME! DON'T KILL ME! MOMMA HELP ME!"

"What do we do?" interrogated Osaka.

_**Next on Shreenan Island:**_

Will Asuka live? What will happen to the rest of the group? And will EVA 02 arrive in time? Read the next chapter to find out!

Quote of the day: A little hope is worth six points on a test.


	12. Asuka Strikes

**Chapter Twelve: Asuka Strikes!**

_Attention! Achtung! This chapter is not for those who can not stand the sight of blood or heavy gore. You have been warned._

"What do we do?" interrogated Osaka, looking hopelessly up at her friend. Time stood still. Minutes slowly paced along like hours. A huge humanoid, scarlet in color, tackled Unit 06 to the ground. It slammed its fist into the white EVA's head, reducing it to bloody chunks of muscle and bone. The defeated EVA's hand went limp, releasing Asuka, who was still alive.

"Momma! You saved me!" rejoiced Asuka, staring up into her EVA's green eyes. Then, the EVA scooped her up into its hands, and placed the pilot on its shoulder. Asuka looked around at the remaining Evangelion.

"Well, I guess the job isn't done yet," Asuka said. She flipped open a panel on her EVA, and the entry plug popped out.

"What are you doing Asuka?" Ritsu shouted from the ground, "You can't possibly defeat them all!"

"We'll see about that," she replied, climbing into the entry plug. And with a whoosh, the entry plug reinserted itself into the EVA's back.

"Smells like blood, like usual," mumbled Asuka, the stench of LCL filling her nostrils, "I wonder what tools I have to work with today." She pressed a few buttons on her entry plug controls. The monitor displayed the progressive knife, which was in the EVA's left shoulder armament and a positron pistol (this weapon appears in the fight against Leilel, for those who do not know), in the right shoulder armament.

Back on the ground, the three remaining contestants stared up at the sanguine Evangelion. Hands sweating, Ritsu muttered, "I hope she'll be all right."

"Taco teleport taco," peeped GIR, surrounding himself in a blue bubble.

"No GIR! Don't go!" whined Osaka, reaching out her hands to grab GIR. The green doggie robot made a humming noise, and then disappeared, blue bubble and all.

"GIR…" sniffled Osaka.

"Wait! That's it!" Ritsu gasped, "We don't have to die! We can escape in a space ship! Call NASA!"

"But my cellphone ran out of minutes. Darned Cingular…."

"Die you dumkopfen!" shouted Asuka at the top of her lungs, plunging her progressive knife into the abdomen of EVA Unit Twelve, strong spurts of blood issuing from its wound and mouth. EVA 08 attacked from behind, but was hastily terminated with a positron blast to the neck. She ripped off the Evangelion's head barehanded, chunked it at Unit Ten, causing it fall over and impale itself on a pointy boulder. A dizzying, splitting pain ripped through EVA 02's left shoulder, and Asuka saw one of her EVA's arms was lying on the ground.

"SHEIBE!" she cursed, firing the last positron blast at Evangelion Unit Five, the severer of her arm.

"Auxiliary power has now expired. Zero minutes of activation time left," said the electronic voice, hollow and stygian. The Evangelion crashed to the ground.

"NO! NO MOMMA! I'M NOT GOING TO DIE! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE MOMMA!" shrieked Asuka. She heard a thumping noise off in the distance, the sound of feet. And then, there was the dreaded thunking noise, a double bladed lance sinking itself into Unit 02. "DON'T LET ME DIE!" Another spear came flying down, embedding itself in the EVA.

"DO NOT LET ME DIE!"

_**Next on Shreenan Island:**_

Asuka may have got herself out of the last pickle, but will she be able to rise again? And what of Osaka and Ritsuko? Will they meet their doom? Please continue to read and review to find out!


	13. End End End

**Chapter Thirteen: End, End, End**

"Things aren't looking good," muttered Ritsu, shaking his head sadly.

"Come on Asuka! Get up!" shouted Asuka, clad in a cheerleader outfit, complete with pom poms, "Give me an "a"! Give me a "s"! Give me a "u"! Give me a "k"! Give me a "a"! What does that spell? ASUKA! WHOOOOO!"

"I'll kill you…I'll kill you!" cried Asuka in her powerless EVA, "I'll kill you…I'll kill you…" The EVA's eyes flickered with life. Slowly, it began to rise off the ground, ignoring the lances protruding from its body. Another lance came flying towards Asuka's Evangelion, but this time, it was blocked by the EVA's AT Field. The EVA grabbed ahold of the lance and threw it at the nearest enemy Evangelion, Unit 12. The lance flew through the EVA's body, taking out sevearl vital organs. Asuka's Evangelion ripped the two lances out of its body, flung one at EVA Unit 11, which was decapitated upon impact, and the other at Unit 07. The lance buried itself in the white Evangelion's foot, and Asuka's EVA dashed forward madly. It pinned the white humanoid to the ground, tore off both of its arms, then subsequently ripped the Evangelion's core right out of its chest. The vermillion beast squeezed the core, and it broke into a million shards.

"Just two more to go," mumbled Asuka. The two remaining enemy Evangelion came running towards Asuka. Her EVA picked up a nearby boulder, and flung hurled it at EVA Unit 13. The Evangelion fell to the ground, head gushing blood.

"This is for momma!" Asuka shouted, driving her Evangelion's fist through the last EVA's core. The white beast went limp, and Unit 02 pulled out its fist. "I think that's enough for one day," sighed the red head, wiping the sweat off her forehead. And then, a text message appeared on her EVA's monitor.

"What's this?" mumbled Asuka, raising her eyebrow.

"WHOOOO!GO ASUKA!" cheered Osaka, still in cheerleader suit.

"Well, I guess this means no more end of the world," Ritsu commented, yawning, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

"We should have a party!" squealed Osaka, "In honor of the brave Asuka, pilot of Evangelion Unit Two! I'll go find her!" Then, thundering out of the forest came EVA Unit Two.

"Exnay on the search-ay," announced Osaka, "Looks like Asuka has come to us." With the pop of the entry plug, Asuka emerged from her EVA.

"Hello down there!" Asuka called out from her perch, "I've got good news! We're the winners of Anime Survivor Season Two!"

**Epilogue**

In the end, Ritsuko, Osaka, and Asuka walked away with a hundred million dollars in cash. Ritsuko bought a mansion in Beverly Hills, California. He married a fan of his and had three children named Sakura, Maya, and Hitomi. Osaka bought a ship made of plush animals and sailed around the world in it. Asuka married Toji Suzuhara and lived happily in a little alpine bungalow. As for Mizu Miyamoto, she still continues to write stories, being paid five dollars in Euros.

THE END!

_PS: And no, there is not going to be a Third Anime Survivor. _


End file.
